Quote Of The Foreseeable Future

"I make more money than God."

That bit of honesty came from an elegantly wasted West Virginian at St. Nick's in Beverly Hills last night, after insisting that he buy a round of beers and shots for everyone. When I gave him a cigarette in return (I've discovered that offering people cigarettes is the easiest way to get them to leave), he finished it in less than 30 seconds and nailed a passing car with the remains. He later departed the bar in a frenzy, leaving a wadded pile of 20's on the table and an open tab at the register.

I'm pretty sure he drives trucks for a living.